Reacting to my World Cup Predictions
This is gonna be tragic.
Okay before I start reflecting. I want it on record right now that I think the actual winners of this tournament will be… ARGENTINA.
Now lets move on to my terrible predictions.
Group A- My Prediction: Netherlands, Senegal, Ecuador, Qatar
Actual: Exactly as I said :)
YESSSS!!!!!! According to standings I have this group perfectly. But, lets be honest a monkey with a spear penetrating his brains could’ve gotten this one right. BUT still I’ll claim it. That is a perfect 4/4. Just casually gonna breeze past the fact I said Qatar would get a point because the only way they would ever get a point is if they bought it. So apart from that absolutely brain dead prediction, this is a WIN. Honestly this group came down to the wire because Enner Valencia turned out to be the second coming of Jesus himself. (No not the Brazilian, I’m talking Bible)
Group B: My prediction: England, Iran, Wales, U.S.A
Actual: England, U.S.A, IRAN, WALES
The only thing more disgusting than this t-shirt is my prediction. Wales to finish above the States? What was I thinking?
Oh God, not only did the U.S.A finish above Wales they also topped Iran. What did I say? Iran will make it tough for teams to score against them. Yep, they only went onto concede 7 goals. Brilliant. I am stoked I got England nailed on in 1st with 7 points. But me predicting the United States to finish 4th only for them to go unbeaten and almost beat England? Maybe I should just go into hiding.
Current score: 5/8
Group C: My Prediction: Argentina, Mexico, Poland, Saudi Arabia
Actual: Argentina, Poland, Mexico, Saudi Arabia
Listen, I said Saudi winless and they beat Argentina so congratulations on your new holiday and Rolls Royce and all that but you went onto do absolutely nothing after that. I’m still gonna cry myself to sleep after my predictions though so… Anyways. Mexico 2nd? After 7 straight round of 16s they crash out all because I SAID THEY WOULD QUALIFY. I am a curse. Honest to God, I am a curse. I’m so sorry Mexico but kudos to you Poland for qualifying, you did what you had to do. One more thing Argentina I am predicting you to win. DO NOT LET ME DOWN. Now that I said this they’re probably losing to Australia aren’t they?
Current Score: 7/12
Group D: My Prediction: Denmark, France, Tunisia, Australia
Actual: France, Australia, Tunisia, Denmark
Denmark? Dark horses? DARK HORSES? Oh my days. I am so done. Listen if you don’t hear from me in a weeks time, it’s because I am in hiding. I cursed an entire nation with 2 words. And Australia I owe you a massive apology. Bottom of the table. Not used to the competition? No, instead you blew the competition out the water. I honestly am the worlds biggest twat. Anyways France topped the group breaking the curse and Tunisia well I got you right but honestly 1 prediction out of 4? Lord, end this eternal suffering.
Current Score: 8/16
Group E: My Prediction: Germany, Japan, Spain, Costa Rica
Actual: Japan, Spain, Germany, Costa Rica
You know what I’m not even mad at this because I know I am one of the few who backed Japan to qualify and they did. W Japan. W Bluelock.
No wait, I am mad. I’m sorry when the hell did Germany, 4 time winners. Germany forget how to play football. And what else did I say, Spain can’t score goals? Yeh they only ended the group being joint-top scorers in the tournament. Costa Rica bottom, well Stevie Wonder could’ve predicted that so is it really a W for me?
God I hate myself.
Current Score: 9/20
Group F: My Prediction: Croatia, Belgium, Morocco, Canada
Actual: Morocco, Croatia, Belgium, Canada
Belgium you absolute bottlers. Absolutely fumbled. Embarassing. Golden generation? These lot haven’t won anything. Am I lashing out at Belgium because I’m embarassed with getting 1 right in an entire group again? Yes. Oh my God, how is one person so bad at predictions. Anyways Croatia struggled mightily when I said they’d blow the group out the water, so not surprising I guess. And Morocco, well done. Fair played, just nothing else to say. Well done. And Canada well lets F Croatia yeh? Well you ‘f’d’ nothing but on a real I feel bad for you because the ‘Golden Generation’ (God I’m petty) should’ve finished last.
Current Score: 10/24
Group G: My Prediction: Brazil, Serbia, Switzerland, Cameroon
Actual: Brazil, Switzerland, Cameroon, Serbia
Cameroon winless? They go onto beat Brazil. Switzerland to lose to Serbia, they win. Serbia to qualify, they finish last. I guess whatever I say the opposite happens. You know what, I’m done. Next.
I wanna be broke. Please.
Current Score: 11/28
Group H: My Prediction: Portugal, Uruguay, Ghana, South Korea
Actual: Portugal, South Korea, Uruguay, Ghana
So let’s see what I predicted. Oh Uruguay to finish 2nd. They can make it far, oh another dark horse team. The only thing that’s far is the distance back home.
My description for Ghana is decent but I got that prediction wrong too so that’s nice. Portugal to finish 1st, well that was obvious but at this point I’m so desperate for a point I’ll take it.
So South Korea, hmm. ‘I don’t think they can knock out these 3 teams’, well they did but at this point should we even be shocked that the opposite of what I said came true? Jesus Christ Almighty.
God, I’m terrible.
Final Score: 12/32
12/32? Get a blind man to pick at random and they’ll get higher. Should I just not support a team, period? Is that the way they’ll win?
12/32 is a percentage of 37.5. Meaning I failed the test. Could I pass off as a dumb, good looking jock? You know what, lets not open that box.
Anywho, clearly I suck at this. But I will release my knockout tree soon. Get ready for even more catastrophic L’s.
